Microsoft, please carry on…

Courtesy of Rixstep:

Spontaneous Shoplifting @ MSFT Store

Words don’t often fail me, but the sight of a dozen minor-geeks, awkwardly clapping and trying to dance, under the guise of spontaneity… well I don’t know what to say or where to begin.

Microsoft, you’re making a complete fool of yourself. You really don’t know what (hopefully) irreparable damage you are doing to your brand (such that it is) and your public image.

Years from now, when Microsoft are long, long gone, people will look back at the YouTube video and say that this was one of the 10 or so key moments where severe blows were dealt that added to this company’s downfall.

The reason why Microsoft have survived and prospered this far, is because of the army of Windows IT Professionals that have propped up this loose assortment of sloppy hacks and ass-backwards ‘me-too’ and ‘just good enough’ coding.

They have survived because of the mass-ignorance of your average PC-buyer, who needed their hand held whilst buying their computer.

But now things have changed. Apple, Google, Twitter, Facebook and dozens of others have caught up whilst Microsoft were sleeping, and Microsoft’s customer has changed – they are armed with geek-knowledge and they know how to use it.

Ballmer, like the captain on the Titanic, tried to ignore it, but now, with market-share and mind-share slipping he has to do something.

He calls on his troops, but more and more of these troops are bringing in laptops with Apple logos on them. They have iPods, and iPhones, they use Google instead of Bing, and Office is the last thing on their mind with free alternatives readily available.

So he does something – Vista. A total failure that would have finished most companies – but Microsoft isn’t ‘most’ companies.

He tries ‘new’ and ‘different’ advertising campaigns. They are met with derision, confusion and worst of all – laughter, the ‘at’ kind, not the ‘with’ kind.

Plan B. If you can’t beat them – join them. Or copy them. Copy them in exactly the same way you’ve copied them before, back when that ‘computer for the rest of us’ was first released.

Copy it backwards and upside down. In such a way that although all the pieces are there, they just don’t quite fit together.

What you are seeing in this poor, poor, sad video above, is Microsoft in the raw. When the support from all the IT professionals has gone.

They have to compete. On their own. This is who they really are.

I’ve often thought Microsoft were indestructible and I would be writing this blog to the end of my days with them always there, always copying, always getting it totally wrong.

You know I’m beginning to see, at last, the end of this once never great company.

MobileMe – it could be worse…

MobileMe DOA?

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I’ve written before about the problems I’ve had with MobileMe, and that it doesn’t seem as rock-solid as we’d like.

I’ve had problems with data syncing, needing to re-set sync data on 2 occasions, and one problem needing to reinstall a combo updater.

Many pundits have written that maybe this is proof-positive that ‘the cloud’ is not and indeed cannot, live up to its promise – a totally reliable, always backed-up, always available media-rich experience.

I’ve decided to give MobileMe the benefit of the doubt and use it ‘carefully’ and with a constant overseeing to make sure that all is well.

I’ve commented in a recent post, that with all the problems Apple had and continues to have with their cloud, maybe we are seeing the limits of their competence and maybe after all, Microsoft with all their expertise, can do it better.

I’m glad to be proved wrong.

Microsoft just doesn’t care…

It’s hard to know where to begin with this. Microsoft bought a company called Danger in early 2008, and basically took a perfectly functioning online service for T-Mobile’s Sidekick users and whilst performing an upgrade, totally screwed it up in the worst way possible.

They actually lost their data. Forever. Gone. No backup.

What’s Microsoft current market cap? $230 Billion?

How is it possible that this could happen?

And more importantly, why do people constantly continue to deal with this loose collection of morons that dare to call themselves a company?

In all my criticisms of MobileMe, I have never lost even one ACSII characters worth of data. It’s been a pain to reset sync, and I’ve invented at least 4 new swearwords when I was troubleshooting Apple’s cloud, but Apple have made sure that I never actually lost anything.

Well done Microsoft for allowing confidence in the cloud to be dented even further than it was. Morons.

No such thing as bad PR?

Windows 7 doth approach, and Microsoft, in it’s wisdom have organised ‘Windows 7 parties’ to encourage the poor deluded majority to bet, once again, that this version of Windows is the one they will actually enjoy using.

The one that will at last, be intuitive, won’t crash much, will be free from viruses and malware, just like those other computers that they don’t like to mention very much.

The general reception that the Windows 7 party idea has had is predictably consistent; it’s an awful, cheesy, cliche and pain-inducing idea that only reinforces the idea that Microsoft are so totally uncool and unhip, that it’s a wonder their bums don’t fall off (to quote Zaphod Beeblebrox).

However one excuse for all the fallout has been, ‘there’s no such thing as bad PR.’ Meaning that it doesn’t matter that the idea is awful, it doesn’t matter that everyone is laughing at Microsoft, the number of column inches it generates is worth all the bad press.

However I do not agree.

Many years ago I worked alongside a person who I had great respect from in the creative and advertising industry. Our team was tasked with creating a straightforward campaign for a large supermarket chain to advertise a sale.

This advertising took many forms, but one part was bus-shelter posters.

Now being trained graphic designers we new that the thought process for the consumer was thus:

You hook in the consumer with a gimmick, an offer or an angle.

You then hold there attention with an attractive, easy to ‘consume’, flowing, logical design.

You then let them go, away from your adverts influence, with a thought, or memory of your offer.

The last part is the most important. The consumer will spend infinitely more time away from your ads influence, than being exposed to it. You don’t have long to get your message across and that message has to hit home first time, and it must stay with them when you ad is long gone.

This period is the time where your influence has to be positive so that the consumer can pass your message along to another person.

This is why ‘viral marketing’ is a difficult and dangerous approach. You have to get your message and every possible interpretation of that message absolutely right.

Anyway I digress a little- back to the supermarket’s ad.

We created what we thought best fulfilled those 3 critera, to hook, to hold & give right memory. However the client didn’t see it that way.

They wanted something much more direct, simple and gaudy. Put simply they wanted their ad on a dayglo green or orange background, so that it ’stood out’ and shouted their message.

It certainly would hook & hold, but the memory? My colleague commented that, “We’ve hooked them in, the ad will be noticed most certainly, they will even read the ad, but what memory are they left with? a cheap and nasty one.”

The client, whose product was most certainly not cheap and nasty, finally relented, but this experience made me think about the Windows 7 party.

It’s getting the column inches, and we’re certainly hooked and held, but what’s the memory we are left with? What are we saying to others about this approach?

Microsoft seems to think that any news is good news… I don’t think so.

Forward delete is an oxymoron…

Mac 101: Forward delete on a Mac laptop

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As part of my job, I come across dozens of Windows users every day. They have used Windows all their life and have little or know knowledge of the Mac.

These are, to coin a few phrases, the other 95%, the drones, the job security for hundred’s and thousands of IT Managers up and down the USofA.

Occasionally this ‘majority’ have to sit down and use a Mac for a period of time and it’s here where their ‘muscle memory’ of using the upside-down and back-to-front version of the Mac (i.e. Windows), comes into the realm of the way it was done first, and done correctly – the Mac.

One way in which this surfaces is the forward-delete key. This was first brought to my attention when a bemused PC user, typing a document, said, “where’s the delete key on this keyboard?’

My first reaction was that they couldn’t be blamed for not knowing. There’s nowhere on a mac keyboard that says ‘delete’. It’s the key with the left facing arrow, as a Mac user, I just know this through years of use.

However the PC-user, upon testing this said, “No, that’s the backspace key.”

“No it isn’t”, I remarked, “the backspace key on a Mac is the left arrow key, along with the up, down and right keys”.

Not understanding what ‘backspace’ meant, I then learned about ‘forward-delete’ from this PC-user. It’s always been on a Mac keyboard, but I’ve never used it, because it doesn’t make any sense to me. And neither does ‘backspace’.

To me, the word ‘backspace’ does not mean a destructive action. Backspace means, ‘to move back a space’, i.e. the left arrow key.

‘Delete’ means to delete something you have just done. i.e. You type a word, it is wrong, and you, going backwards using the delete key, delete that word. Where does the term, ‘forward’ make any sense in this?

You don’t place your insertion point at the beginning of the word and then when you press the delete key, expect it to move forward along the word, deleting it.

That’s counter-intuitive isn’t it?

I suppose this all comes down to what you’re used to, but ‘forward-delete’ to me doesn’t make any sense to me as a concept.

However as the ‘majority’ use it, I must be wrong, right?

FM tuner done the Apple way…

Steve, you genius...

Apple – iPod nano – FM Radio – Listen to the radio in a new way.

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So it’s over. Steve looked fine, new iTunes, new Touch, new Shuffle, new Nano, iTunes LP, blah, blah, FM tuner, blah, iTunes at 70-odd%, Microsoft at 1% (silent laughter), blah, blah, no Apple TV.

Or iTabletslatepad.

Wait a minute – FM tuner?

How can you get excited about an FM tuner? the one thing that you would have bet your Mac that would never be in an iPod?

Ah, with an Apple twist – you can pause live radio and tag songs for later purchase in iTunes.

Steve, you bloody genius. Now you see why it’s never been a feature until now, until Apple made it actually useful.

I will probably buy it just for that feature, but it’s US-only – for now.

Queue the articles about Steve’s health in 3, 2, 1…

Apple = Microsoft Calacanis? Yeah right…

The recent diatribe that Calacanis scribbled out has been difficult to comment on.

I’ve commented on it on a few blogs, and my basic approach is that the content of what he wrote is pointless drivel, it’s the effect that it has on his profile that matters.

If he was serious in his comments, then:

a) It would have been much shorter and to the point

b) Would have been better researched and water-tight

c) Wouldn’t have seemed like the rambling writings of someone writing off the cuff, wanting to say something, anything controversial to make himself relevant again.

But, with all that aside, when you condense the it all down, you can say that the point of his ‘article’ was to point out that Apple either is, or is in danger of, becoming evil.

You know – evil. Bad. Not good.

Just like Microsoft was accused of being, but worse. A lot worse.

Calacanis apparently left Microsoft a decade ago and embraced Apple, but now he’s saying that Apple is even worse.

The cheques must have bounced.

But how bad were Microsoft? Some would argue (and I’m amongst them), that nothing has changed and Microsoft are just as bad as they ever were, they’ve just got better and covering their tracks, but how low are Microsoft willing to go?

Take a look at this very interesting article over at Rixstep, entitled, “Windows: The Next Killer Application on the Internet.”

Choice comments from the “lovely, not evil at all, and is not evil as Apple” company are:

They were going to replace the DNS with their own proprietary technology.

They were going to replace electronic mail with their own proprietary technology.

They were going to replace the world wide web with their own proprietary technology.

They were going to replace the DNS with their own proprietary technology.

They were going to replace electronic mail with their own proprietary technology.

They were going to replace the world wide web with their own proprietary technology.

This was 1994, but again, as Calacanis’s article content isn’t the point, it’s the underlying message, the same applies here.

The same people, the same attitude, the same evil, still perpetuates at Microsoft.

What’s Apple been accused of? Nothing that a few policy changes wouldn’t fix.

What’s Microsoft been accused of? Nothing short of making a fascist state of the internet.

To say that Apple are worse than Microsoft is insulting, and shows that Calacanis’s reasoning is flawed and suspect. I don’t trust him – or Microsoft.

Microsoft’s retail stab in the dark…

Upon thinking about Microsoft entry into the retail space, a few thoughts occur.

Microsoft have a really deep seated envy of everything that Apple does. Now, they’ve always had this from the very first meeting about Windows 1.0, and in the past they could get away with it.

After all, despite all Apple’s efforts, they were not a mainstream company. Microsoft and their partners dominated and no-one outside Apple’s niche had ever heard of them.

All the great unwashed saw was ever greater ‘innovation’ coming from Redmond. They did not know that this innovation was a photocopied, me-too agenda based upon what Apple did.

This approach works fine, as long as Apple remains a niche.

Can you really say that Apple Inc. is at this current moment ‘a niche player’?

Group together everything that Apple does, the Mac, iPod, iPhone etc, and their approaching 10% market share (and even greater mind-share), I think not.

Why does this make a difference? Well, Microsoft can keep up the pretense of being an ‘innovator’ as long as no-one (or at least the majority) knows that Apple exists.

This is all the more difficult, and one very good reason this is getting harder, is because of those pesky Apple Retail Stores.

People used to listen to their ‘geeky friend’ on what computer to purchase, which was usually, if not always Windows.

That’s not the case now, they see an Apple Store, go in, and more often than not, purchase. I don’t know what their footfall conversion rate is (the % of customer who enter a store and either do or do not purchase something), but according to Apple 50% of those purchases are to Windows users.

So what is Microsoft to do? Well there’s only one thing to do, fight fire with fire.

But Microsoft has a problem, and it’s a problem that cannot be got around. The PC model is proprietary OS on open hardware. Apple’s model is open OS (sort, parts of etc), on proprietary hardware.

Now I don’t care what people say, Apple’s model gives us more reliable computers, Microsoft’s model gives problems – lot of them, with more chances to go wrong.

Apple’s model is naturally fits the retail environment. People enter Apple Stores for an experience. Yes, they take their computers in to be fixed, and Apple manages that quite well, as their model keeps those fixes down to an acceptable level.

Microsoft? Their model invites problems, how the hell are they going to manage all those PC users with viruses, spam, malware and faulty hardware because their ‘geeky friend’ made their computer?

This should be interesting to watch…

Microsoft to open retail stores?…

This is going to be fun to watch…

Imagine the scene: Microsoft opens it’s store, hoping that people will walk through the door and fully grasp that Microsoft software can help their digital life and will be wowed by everything they have to offer and they won’t go to that funny fruit store down the street.

However what will happen is that Joe Sixpack will walk through the door walk up to the counter and say, “Ug! Computer not work, you fix!” (Along with the 20 people behind them with similar complaints).

The patient (and butt-ugly) Microsoft genius with say, “I’m very sorry sir, but your issue is a hardware issue and I’m afraid Microsoft only deal with software, I can give you the number of the Dell support-line?”

Mr Sixpack will then say, “Ug! Dellman say your software got virus, you fix!”

The Genius eyes will then light up and say, “Aaaah, yes sir then we can help you, we sell virus killing software starting at $59.95 per month for our basic package.” He then hands him a leaflet.

Mr Sixpack numbly hands over his credit card, “just make computer work – me want pr0n!”

At the end of the month Microsoft will say that their software stores are a great success, having sold millions of software packages that help their customer get more from their computer purchase.

If anything, this will force more consumers into Apple stores because for the first time, Microsoft will meet the great-unwashed PC buying public – and their problems. I really don’t think Microsoft realise that aspect at all – they really are that arrogant and full of themselves.

The will not be able to cope – it will be a PR disaster. All Apple needs to do is air a well-timed Mac vs PC add that targets this sh*t storm, and watch them come through the doors.

Microsoft, please, please, please – carry on.

Psystar breadcrumbs…

 

 

 

Apple’s recent complaint against Psystar has unearthed a brief insight into the hard work they have been doing behind the scenes.

18. On information and belief, persons other than Psystar are involved in Psystar’s unlawful and improper activities described in this Amended Complaint. The true names or capacities, whether individual, corporate, or otherwise, of these persons are unknown to Apple. Consequently they are referred to herein as John Does 1 through 10 (collectively the “John Doe Defendants”). On information and belief, the John Doe Defendants are various individuals and/or corporations who have infringed Apple’s intellectual property rights, breached or induced the breach of Apple’s license agreements and violated state and common law unfair competition laws. Apple will seek leave to amend this complaint to show the unknown John Doe Defendants’ true names and capacities when they are ascertained.

The emphasis is mine. In order of emphasis, here’s my translation:

1) Apple has evidence that Psystar doesn’t really want to sell cheap Mac clones. The whole exercise is a front for a plan by one of Apple’s competitors, who, knowing full well this would end up in court, are trying to destroy Apple’s business model.

2) Various individuals and/or corporations. Microsoft & Dell. In that order.

3) When Apple finds out enough evidence to prove this, things are never going to be the same. This could finally end the technical dead end that Micro/Dell have led us all down. If we can find proof – it will finish them both.

Of course I have no proof. But obviously Apple has a few leads. Whoever this is, they had better make sure that the breadcrumbs don’t lead to them.

Reaction to Microsoft’s answer to ‘GetaMac’

I’ve not published for a while as I have been knee-deep in the negotiations to convert my company’s website from a standard informational website in to a fully-fledged ecommerce site.

So I’ve let pass the current effort by Microsoft to counter the resurgence of the Mac with their own set of advertising, costing $300 million no less.

Being very busy, I don’t have the time to look into the metaphorical reasoning behind the Seinfield ads, but I assure you I will sooner or later.

I’m a marketing guy and I deal with peddling bullshit to consumers on a daily basis, and at first glance these ads seem amateurish at best.

In addition, I’m too late – they’ve been pulled already.

Microsoft have continued the assault on Apple with the ‘I’m a PC’ ads. Again however, the ads seem poorly thought out and clumsy in their execution.

But I’m not going to go into detail, but one thing I’ve noticed is the reception that any advertising effort by Redmond seems to generate in the media. It seems that the press is resoundingly negative in their judgement.

Why is this? Surely something can be said of these adverts that would give Microsoft some hope? Even myself at my most impartial, could, if pushed, muster some sort of positive morsel.

It seems to me that the tables have been turned.

Back in the 80’s & 90’s, the main motivating factor, the thing, above all that would sway someone’s opinion on whether to choose an IBM PC or a Macintosh, was their friendly (or not so friendly) neighbourhood geek.

The spotty nerd at work, the weirdo that fixed the computers, the clumsy nobby-no-mates that bored you senseless with talk of RAM, memory, DOS & hard disks.

And his recommendation was (you guessed it), the DOS (and Windows) PC. He scoffed at the Mac, calling it a toy, lacking in software, no powerful and something that nobody used.

And his recommendation stuck. For years. And years. We’ve been at the brunt-end of that decision ever since. The entire IT industry is geared towards pushing us to Windows and the PC.

Fast forward to the last few years. After years of crashes, viruses, trojans, malware and ever cheap computers, that seem to last little more than 18 months, the consumer who relied of their geeky friends recommendation just doesn’t believe them anymore.

So who do they believe? Well who’s left?

Their not going to listen to a Mac user either, because we get lumped together with those geeky weirdoes.

The only thing left is the media. They are listening to the media, the ad-men, all those artists who use Macs in all the creative departments up and down the land, all those PR agencies and marketing people who use predominantly the Mac.

The Mac’s time has come – for years the IT geeks recommended the PC to anybody who would listen, well those days are gone. Now that the consumer’s ear is turning towards the media, we will recommend nothing but the Mac.

Poetic justice for all the years of misery they’ve put us all through.

Hate my employer, but love my job…

A recent post on Slashdot highlights the fact that Apple’s wage structure is lower than that of say, Yahoo or Google, and to avoid a brain-drain, they need to compensate their staff now that there’s cash in the bank.

Now, while I can’t comment on the wage at Apple and whether it is a fair one, it seems that a point is being missed.

The wage that I get paid isn’t bad, but sometimes, after being given ‘another’ direct mail campaign to organise, in a timeframe that would make lesser mortals cower in the corner in panic, I sometimes admit to myself that I hate the company I work for, and if I had a choice I would work for someone else – indeed, I’m always on the look-out, and have been all the way through my career.

But, in this search, money is not my prime concern. Obviously I want a living wage, but I would rather be happy, than earn an astronomical wage. But what makes me happy? – using Apple technology.

I say that without a hint of irony – the only thing that motivates me in my current position, is that although my job is difficult, stressful and annoying almost all of the time, I enjoy and am happy in using the Macintosh every day.

The thought of doing the same job with Windows? I would be practically suicidal, because it wouldn’t be possible to produce the output I currently do – and remember: I use Windows & Mac everyday, I know both platforms.

That’s something that’s difficult to get across to Windows users – I actually like doing the work that I do, even if it stressful and means working 16 hour days sometimes, because Apple technology makes me smile; it works, it’s reliable and needs minimum configuration.

I had a Windows users, who passing through my department said of us, “Your one of those b*st*rds who enjoy their job, aren’t you?”.

I have 2 Windows computers in my department, and they have a support call almost every other day. Printing doesn’t work, can’t access the network – the list is endless. That’s why they’re not used for deadline-based, mission critical work – I (or our IT) spend more time fixing them than using them.

So coming back to that Slashdot article, it seems to me the reason why Apple’s employees are not leaving en masse for more money, is maybe because actually enjoying their job, using Apple technology day-in, day-out, is more important to them than chasing a few more dollars.

I’m sorry, this is just too funny for words…

Yahoo! say buh-bye to Microsoft and team with Google.

“Yahoo said it expects the deal to generate $250m to $450m in operating cash flow during the first 12 months, and that it represents an annual revenue opportunity for Yahoo of $800m. The deal is for an initial period of four years, with an option for Yahoo to extend it for a further six years.”

Google (with Steve Jobs smirking in the background) was reported as saying: “This is big, bigger than the biggest thing ever (other than me).”

Microsoft was reported as doing nothing much, except staring wide-eyed like a rabbit in the middle of the road, waiting to be run over.

“As part of the deal, the companies also plan to make their instant-messaging services interoperate, Decker said.”

Bye-bye Microsoft Instant Messenger, and within a decade – bye-bye Microsoft.

God I just love the world at the moment…

My god, these people still exist..?

Live with it: Mac is not the greatest

Oh dear, I thought we’d already discussed this a million times on every forum in the known universe.

The public has spoken, and they want Mac’s, not PC’s – live with it.

I thought that people like this would just, y’know, go back to their server rooms or something, but it seems that every now and again, between chocolate bars, squeezing spots and the hosing down and reinstallation of Windows, they post flame-bait like this.

They can say anything they like, because they are journalists with a PC-bias, and we are just Mac-users who just want to tell everyone that there’s a better way.

We can’t say anything in retaliation because if we dare to speak up, we’re pigeonholed as blind cult followers.

All those stories you hear about Windows users switching to Mac and then wondering why they didn’t do it years ago, well that’s just lies put about by these ‘weird’ Mac people.

But you can’t win with situations like this, so I suggest to everyone that please, please, please when the next Windows-spod pokes his head from around the server-room door, and tries to convince you that all these Macs are a waste of time and you ought to be on Windows, just ignore him.

Please don’t reply to his article, even if it’s well meaning – he’ll just use it as ammunition against us.

If you want to post a retort, then start your own blog if you have to so you don’t give him the traffic that he most sorely needs.

In another few years these people will quieten down, after the people they work for/with start bringing in iPhones, and telling everyone they’ve just bought a Mac as well, and that they’d wished they’d done it years ago.

Microsoft innovate at last!

Link from Mac Daily News…

Here’s a interesting quote from Microsoft to their ‘mobile partners’.

“It’s now my honor and privilege to announce a milestone that our partnership HAS ACCOMPLISHED. This fiscal year we WILL SELL nearly 20 million Windows Mobile smartphone licenses, making Windows Mobile one of the most widely used smartphone software platforms in the world.”

Emphasis is mine.

Is this now Microsoft’s approach? Instead of celebrating when they have reached a target, they celebrate in the past, BEFORE that target is reached (demonstrating breathtaking arrogance and taking their customer for a ride granted)?

Their innovation now knows no bounds – apparently as well as a ‘big ass table’, they’ve also developed a ‘big ass time machine’.

Humour aside, the hidden meaning of this missive, shows, unglazed how frightened Microsoft actually are.

Their ‘partners’ will survive, as Apple does not want to completely, unfairly dominate industries (like Microsoft do), but Microsoft is another matter – it has suddenly realised how vulnerable it really is.

Carpet bombing flaw in Safari is not a problem because…

 

Link from Slashdot to arcticle at The Register

So let me get this straight, a flaw in Safari, could allow a malicious attacker to download files (1, 2 or thousands) to your Windows desktop without your perrmission.

But the flaw doesn’t allow execution.

Because Apple’s not that stupid.

You know, to allow just ‘any’ file to just execute without permission.

So what’s the problem? Other than it being a ‘design’ flaw? It’s certainly not a security flaw is it? the files cannot be executed and therefore cause untold damage can they?

Ah, right but those files can…

By a flaw in Windows.

Not Safari, then.

So it’s Microsoft’s problem then is it?

That’s right it is.

And when will Microsoft fix this flaw?

No word on that. Yet.

I’m sure they’ll get round to fixing it asap, once they’ve blamed Apple for drawing attention to their SECURITY flaw, by a DESIGN flaw that Apple, quite rightly, didn’t really think would cause too much of a problem, because no company is stupid to allow files to execute by themselves.

Except Microsoft. Again.

 

Apple buys a chip company… wait… what!?

 

Click this, as it’s quite a good read.

With all the furore over Apple slowly becoming a software company, (put about by those pundits with an ulterior motive to see Apple’s demise), can we all just now state categorically that Apple is first and foremost a hardware company?

Just how much ‘hardware-like’ can you get – they’ve just purchased a chip company for goodness sakes.

Admittedly, this purchase is to do with the iPhone, but I think it shows how much Apple holds the ‘make the whole widget’ approach central to its strategy.

Today the iPhone, but I can see this purchase fueling innovation and invention in the Apple-branded mobile gadget area for decades to come.

There’s a few thing that are certain; nobody saw this coming, most won’t understand its significance, and most clueless industry experts will wonder what the heck Apple are playing at, isn’t everybody touting ’software services’ as the future way to make money?

“Apple buys smaller technology companies from time to time, and we generally do not comment on our purposes and plans,” said Apple spokesman Steve Dowling. 

Stock price will probably go down as well. Guaranteed.

Also, expect Microsoft to purchase a chip company in the next 12 months, once Apple’s investment begins to bear fruit, but completely mishandle the entire process, making both companies worse off than before.

Apple continue to surprise me, and baffle Windows-centric PC pundits.

 

Superenthused?…

So Bill Gates is wheeled out before the press in order to distract everyone from the complete disaster that is Vista. (For the definition of disaster, see here.)

After the first negative reviews of Vista came in, Microsoft was careful to say that the next version of Windows (given the creative-free title of ‘7′), would be 3 years away, but we all know that in Microsoft-years, that means at least 5 years, probably 7.

But, even when I strip away the layer upon layer of pro-Apple skin that encompasses my entire body, when I look at this as objectively as I can, Vista has been a laughing stock.

The company I work for has completely ignored Vista – totally.

The companies I deal with on a daily basis act like it doesn’t exist.

Put simply – if it wasn’t for Microsoft’s cash hoard, they wouldn’t exist either.

So along comes Bill Gates to assure everyone (again) that the next version of Windows will be the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that will work, the one that he’s been promising since, since, well forever…

Hang on, hasn’t Microsoft been doing this all along? Every release of Windows has been awful, without fail. It’s full of bugs, it doesn’t work as advertised and to get it working, it assumes you have an army of IT specialists, on-site to make sure that once they do get it working, nobody touches or changes anything, in case it all comes crashing down like the fragile deck of cards that it is.

So….. Windows 7. It’ll be great, it’ll work on the desktop, it’ll work on mobile devices, it’ll also have, wait for it… multi-touch.

Just like all the other versions were supposed to have (apart from multi-touch of course).

Sigh…

Of course, being a Mac user I couldn’t care less, but don’t Windows users feel, you know, deep down inside, just a little bit, you know… conned?

Of course Microsoft have always done this. It’s a standing joke in the tech industry that Microsoft waits for Apple to innovate in their small niche space and then arrogantly takes that innovation and applies to their Windows monopoly.

Your average Windows user, who doesn’t even know Apple exists, only sees ‘Microsoft at the forefront of the tech industry, yet again.’

However Microsoft’s ploy only works if Apple remains in its niche. Now that Apple has a greater consumer presence and it’s market share is on the rise, those average Windows users are beginning to smell a rat.

That joke isn’t funny anymore, and the FUD that Microsoft relies on is being challenged at last.

The sticker car (sorry I mean guy)…

So Bob Keef was the guy who, faced with the chance to ask Steve Jobs any question, anything whatsoever decides to ask why it is that Apple’s beautifully designed, amazing looking, sleek, fine-lined range of computers aren’t covered in advertising stickers á la Chick Hicks from Pixar’s great movie ‘Cars’.

Leaving aside the obvious observations that the character Chick Hicks is a souless piece of engineering with no finer points to his personality other than cold hard commercial greed (a bit like company’s who make computers that are covered in stickers), does this not totally sum up the gulf that divides those people who ‘get’ Apple and what they are trying to do and say, and those that don’t?

To see him capitulate and squirm online over the reaction, makes good reading, but he really, really does not understand, not even a glimmer of a faint whisper of a hope grasp, what all the fuss is about.

Steve really shouldn’t have given this question the time of day, his response really should have been, “Isn’t it obvious?” but I guess he had to say something.

However the most succinct way to explain all this is with the Cars analogy. Look at the following to pictures of 2 characters in the Cars movie. After giving it some thought, which would you like to be seen driving?

The car on the right may sell to those either forced to buy it, or who have no taste (PC users), but the car on the left is the sane choice.

The car on the left may not be a best seller – but I know which one I would like to drive.

The month of Apple bugs…

I started writing this blog to outline some of my personal experiences of the Apple experience, in the hope that I may shine a light on the reasons why people such as myself choose Apple whenever they can.

I rarely comment on wider Apple-related tech issues, because they are usually well documented already, on blogs and Mac-tech sites far more eloquently than I could manage.

But this time I feel that I’d like to air my views on a small group of people who have made the Apple-headlines recently.

I’ll briefly go into some history (as you probably, as a Mac-user, know the details of this extensively already).

Last year a group of security experts highlighted a potential security threat with Mac’s and their wireless capabilities. They showed a Mac being hacked over a wireless network.

Now, this is about as bad as it gets in terms of security, and the entire Mac web rose up in alarm.

But then cracks started to appear. They started with the fact that the hack did not occur with the built in wireless card, but a third party one. Now, most Mac-users clearly pointed out that you would not install any third party hardware as a perfectly good wireless card was already installed by default.

Okay, said the protagonists, but you can hack the Apple-card as well, we just won’t show you that bit.

Hmmm. Coupled with a remark that they would like to stub a lit cigarette out in Mac-users eyes, most of the Mac-web (and even the more neutral sites), brushed off this ‘threat’ as minor at best.

Fast forward to late last year, and these same ‘security experts’ proposed a media event entitled, “The Month Of Apple Bugs”, to highlight one Apple bug per day, thus proving that all Mac-users live in a dream world and they are just the people to shatter that dream.
It’s now approaching the end of that month and what has been the result? Well, a little mixed. Some of the bugs are serious (Quicktime & Disk Image bugs), some pointless (cause the application to crash), and some bizarre, (using third party applications with no connection to Apple).

I have no problem with them highlighting these bugs at all. I think the work they are doing is valid and needed.

I would argue that their precept (that all Mac-users think that the Mac is bulletproof), is deluded and is created by anti-Mac press trying to give us enough rope to hang ourselves with, but that’s really not my point.

My point, or points are:

1) The motivation to highlight these bugs in the first place is suspect, and

2) The execution in highlighting these bugs is downright dangerous and childish.

Their reasons for doing this work has never been sufficiently explained. It seems to me to be born out of a frustration with Mac-users. They seem to think that we are somehow deluded in our choice of Apple, and that the software that Apple writes is just as full of security holes as Windows (which is arguable). I think they’ve spent far too much time on digg and slashdot personally, and have an axe to grind.

Whatever their reasons, their execution is, as I’ve said, is dangerous and childish.

The way it usually works is this: you find a security vulnerability and you inform the manufacturer first, before releasing it to the public. You can add a time limit on to this if you want, but it’s good manners to give the manufacturer a little breathing space. Once the manufacturer has released a fix, you get a mention in the release notes – kudos to you.

That’s it. That’s all you get and that’s all you should want – public praise for your effort, which will increase your standing in the tech community. You shouldn’t want any more praise, because hey, this is all about helping and safeguarding users by informing the manufacturer of bugs and strengthening the OS isn’t it?

It’s not about your ego, is it?

The person that uncovers a previously unknown bug isn’t the bad guy, are they?

And here is where their execution stinks. Their execution, by not informing Apple before releasing the bug into the wild actually hurts the users, damages Apple, and only gives them more ammunition for their egos.

This is all about a childish attempt by a pissed off Windows user to get back at Apple users because for some reason, the fact that there are a few stupid Mac-users on Slashdot who keep on saying that the Mac is bulletproof, he feels it is his duty to stub a lit cigarette out in our eyes (metaphorically speaking).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Windows users are really screwed up people.

Showing the opposing view…

Recently I noticed an article entitled, “Is the iPod getting an unfair advantage in the marketplace?” on the Mobile Magazine’s website. It struck me at first as the usual FUD-spreading tripe that comes from the Apple-despising press, but upon further reading something occurred to me.

The article can be summarised in that the author found it unfair that the iPod was successful, and dismissed this success as somehow undeserved.

I obviously wanted to reply, but could not at first marshal my thoughts in such a way as to put across my point, but then it struck me. Please read on. What follows is the original article, followed by my reply. I think you’ll agree that it succinctly brings in to contrast the pointlessness of the article.

Is the iPod getting an unfair advantage in the marketplace?
As part of my regular duties for Mobile Magazine, I was poking around the other tech blogs on the internet, looking for interesting things to write about. I came across this post and it got me thinking: is Apple getting an unfair advantage in the marketplace, and that’s why Stevie Jobs holds three-quarters of the MP3 player market?

Think about it. Tech heads are a relative minority in the population, whereas people with a very minimal knowledge of technology probably make up the majority. Case in point: many people think that the iPod is the be all and end all of MP3 players. In fact, you’ll catch many people asking “What kind of iPod is that?” when you flash them a Sandisk Sansa or a Creative Zen. A large portion of the public think that “MP3 players” are a lesser form of the “iPod”, when in fact the iPod is an MP3 player (as I’m sure you know, given that you are reading this). This is following in the same tradition that taught people to refer to DVD players as simply a “DVD”. That irked me for the longest time.

What’s more, when you go to several online retailers, you’ll notice categories that read “iPods and MP3 players”, but never “Zunes and media players” or “Sansas and portable music players.” The iPod holds its own special shelf oftentimes too. I think it comes down to a chicken-or-egg question though: Are retailers simply responding to the average Joe who can only think of the iPod when it comes to portable music, or is it because stores do this that Joe Public thinks this way.

I’m beginning to think it’s the former and we can’t exactly blame Best Buy for featuring the iPod so prominently. After all, they just want to grab those sales. So, who can we blame? I’m looking at you, Cupertino.

Is Windows getting an unfair advantage in the marketplace?

As part of my regular duties for Mobile Magazine, I was poking around the other tech blogs on the internet, looking for interesting things to write about. I came across this post and it got me thinking: is Microsoft getting an unfair advantage in the marketplace, and that’s why Bill Gates holds three-quarters of the OS market?

Think about it. Tech heads are a relative minority in the population, whereas people with a very minimal knowledge of technology probably make up the majority. Case in point: many people think that the Windows OS is the be all and end all of OS’s. In fact, you’ll catch many people asking “What kind of Windows is that?” when you flash them a Macintosh. A large portion of the public think that “Windows” is a lesser form of the “Computer”, when in fact the Mac is an computer (as I’m sure you know, given that you are reading this). This is following in the same tradition that taught people to refer to DVD players as simply a “DVD”. That irked me for the longest time.

What’s more, when you go to several online retailers, you’ll notice categories that read “Windows computers”, but never Macintoshes & Windows”. The Windows PC holds its own special shelf oftentimes too. I think it comes down to a chicken-or-egg question though: Are retailers simply responding to the average Joe who can only think of Windows when it comes to a PC, or is it because stores do this that Joe Public thinks this way.

I’m beginning to think it’s the former and we can’t exactly blame Best Buy for featuring the Windows PC so prominently. After all, they just want to grab those sales. So, who can we blame? I’m looking at you, Microsoft.

Do you understand where Mac users are coming from now?

I think it’s poetic justice that Apple, at last are dominating a market that isn’t skewed in Microsoft’s favor because of an army of ‘tech heads’ that a)only recommend Microsoft and b)cannot stand it if Apple succeed in anything.

Sometimes the best way of getting your point across is to simply hold a mirror up to the situation at hand, showing the opposing view, but using their own words to illustrate your point.

The Zune…

Well. The Zune. What can be said that hasn’t already been said a thousand times?

It’s not very good.

It’s too big. It’s too brown. It’s too restrictive in its DRM. It’s too confusing to use (Microsoft points?). It’s too difficult to install. It’s just too, well, Microsoft.
To Mac users, this isn’t surprising. We all know that, given a level playing field, (not one where they can leverage their monopoly), Microsoft just cannot do anything well.

Everything they have ever produced has always stank to high heaven. Now, in the business world, this doesn’t matter. Geeks are very forgiving.

They will put up with the workarounds, hacks and make-do’s to get Microsoft products working, because a) their jobs depend on it, b) they actually enjoy being knee-deep in this shit, and c) because the alternative (using another OS), is just too frightening to bear.
But in the consumer world, Microsoft cannot get away with it. When, (as one reviewer was forced to do) you have to manually create and install a .DLL file, just to get the Zune software working, you realise that there is something deeply, deeply wrong at Microsoft.

In principal, they are still a computer company, and by computer company, I mean a company that sells to geeks, first and foremost.

They see, and treat your average joe consumer with contempt, just in the same way as the Windows IT tech support at the company you, dear reader, work at, do also.

Everything Microsoft does is soiled with this central, rotten core. “Our software doesn’t work perfectly, but don’t worry, the geek in the family/IT department will sort it out”.

Well, this central premise doesn’t seem to be working anymore for Microsoft. The Zune’s sales are not only disappointing, they’re terrible. It’s funny to see all the so-called independent blogs that Microsoft secretly set up, clamouring for any good news. Several of them are no longer being updated.

Apple, on the other hand, have always been the ‘company for the rest of us,” and their time has now come.

Time to buy Apple shares again.

Microsoft to license Office GUI for free…?

Microsoft, purveyor’s of all that’s bad in design generally, have surprised many by offering to license, for free, the new interface for the next version of Windows Office.

This piece of news has passed most news outlets by, as slightly interesting but nothing to write home about.

Many people have concentrated on the irrelevance of Microsoft trying to license the ‘look a feel’ of a GUI. This is something that Apple tried and failed to do many years ago.

Microsoft references certain, “pending utility and design patent claims, copyrights, trade dress and trademark rights” in the license, but common sense states that these copyright issues are a smokescreen for a deeper more subtler reasoning from Redmond.

The official statement from Microsoft contains a clue as to why Microsoft is doing this, “Our goal is to help people so that we end up with a consistent experience across the set of programs that use the ribbon, that use this paradigm, much the same way as Apple’s Human Interface Guidelines established the paradigm of how menus work 15 years ago.”

Note the Apple reference, and this is where our favourite fruit company comes in.

Apple has been the thorn in the side for Microsoft for many years. Do you think Redmond like being seen to be playing catch-up with Apple all the time? This has been illustrated perfectly with the comparisons of Vista to Tiger/Leopard.

After years of work, and countless rethinks & redesigns, all Redmond’s hard work is dismissed even before it is released, as looking ‘very like Mac OS X’.

This must really piss them off. Apparently, when Microsoft envisaged their ‘iPod killer’ – the Zune – the way in which they motivated their Zune team, was to show them that very old video (when Steve Jobs had hair no less), stating that, “Microsoft have no taste.”

We all know how the Zune turned out, but that is by-the-by – I bet a similar discussion has been held over the Mac’s OS.

Microsoft want to differentiate the Windows GUI from Apple’s, and their new, “contribution to the user interface community” as they put it, is the ‘ribbon’.

But it’s not only differentiation that they are aiming for. The ‘ribbon’ effectively does away with the menu metaphor, and relies solely on icons to select parameters. This seems a little odd, a little difficult to grasp, a little, well, crap.

Menus have been one of the most consistent, widely used and most user-friendly aspect of a computers GUI since their inception way back at Xerox Parc. They got it right first time, there is no easier way to navigate through an applications features.

This hasn’t stopped Microsoft though. They are not interested in ease-of-use, or what’s best for the user. They are trying to change the fundamental principles behind a modern computer’s user interface, so they can call it their own, and take it to a place of their choosing, not Apple’s.

They envisage a day where the entire Windows OS and all applications therein use the ribbon metaphor. They are trying to enforce a new GUI on its users not because it’s easy or it enhances the user’s experience, but because it’s in their interests.

A the centre of the Macintosh user experience are menus. It’s one of the big differences between us and them – there’s a menu at the top all the time, which changes dependent on which application you’re in. Even the desktop has a menu, this differs greatly from Windows, where there’s a menu at the top of each window.

Once Microsoft have brainwashed all those poor Windows users into thinking that the ribbon is a better metaphor than the menu, (and they already have a few converts – some commentators are saying that it takes a few days to get the hang of it, and then you get used to it), then Apple will find it even harder to win switchers because the user experience will be totally different.

Then Microsoft have the upper hand on interface design, again, not because it’s better but because they will have the user’s on their side.

One fly in the ointment you might think is that developers might not take the bait. If developers see that menus are a better way of using their application, then they’ll stick to them. But I don’t think so.

Way back, when Adobe Acrobat Reader was first created, it had menus and pallets to manipulate documents. At around version 2 or 3, they changed the interface to what it is today, a confusing morass of little icons on square strips, with little or no indication of what they do. Their reason for this? They looked into who downloaded the Reader, what their favourite application was, and mirrored that user interface. That application was Word.

That’s why, today we are left with Acrobat’s appalling user interface – because of Microsoft useless GUI design.

Mr Jensen Harris, group program manager of the Microsoft Office user experience team, is quoted as saying, “we would like to see it [the ribbon] used as widely as possible because we are proud of our work.”

Everything Microsoft does has an ulterior, unspoken subtext – this is no exception.